Coup D'état - Day One

Today I started the P90X workout plan. 
Covered by a sheen of sweat like cellophane stretched across my skin, I laid on the floor, unable to push myself back up, my lungs burning, lead weighted, my arms bowed and crooked, trembling in effort, exhausted. 
Suddenly I remembered my camera's two by two inch LCD screen from an hour earlier, the reality of my weight etched into its frame, pixel by pixel. Even miniaturized, my body overflows like a melted marshmallow in its graham cracker coffin, my many moles and scars like its charred and carbonized edges from the heat of the campfire...my tubular man-breasts slinking off my deflated pectorals like the Hindenburg burning into the earth. 
So.
With a tumultuous and guttural roar, I again pushed. 
Muscles flailing and beads of sweat raining upon and darkening my cream carpet, I struggled, half an inch off the ground, then more, slightly, slowly, a bit more, further, further. Unexpectedly, my elbows straightened, my chest elevated from the floor, my body howling and confused.
But I fucking did it. 
Then I did ten more. 
In all, I spent a full hour in nearly-non-stop exertion, bouncing between an insane amount of push-ups, pull-ups (ha, right), and weight lifting. I have to work hard for this, so I will continue to push myself to the point of muscle failure, then push a little more, even if I have to flounder on the ground a bit while my body catches up to my motivation.
Afterwards I did the 17 minute abdominal workout, which was one of the (if not the) most challenging abdominal workouts I have ever tried (and I did Abs of Steel 2000!...once...) I made it halfway through before reaching a point of what I must describe as "digestive failure". 
There is no easy way to come back from the bathroom floor to finish a workout. I was spent. I do not regret stopping at that point...is there a  better way for your body to say stop then literally throwing its "stuff" out the "window"?
Tomorrow is Plyometrics. Pushing 265 pounds into the air is tough, let me tell you. 
So I guess it's a good thing I have a utility sink in the basement.
Vive la révolution!
MDM